Thoughts that suck when you are trying to manifest your dream life
Manifesting within the Universal Laws seems easy and logical — until you actually try to get some results. That’s when you become frustrated and upset. Why isn’t this shizz working? I mean, sometimes you’re done with waiting.
In this article, I want to show you how you block yourself from receiving your biggest desires ever in your manifesting process. I do this by showing you general thoughts that we all have when we think we’re not manifesting as quickly as we hoped to.
As a reminder, manifesting isn’t all that difficult. How hard is it to ask for what you want, allow it to happen, and take logical action? It all sounds pretty simple, but when it comes down to it, we have so many yes buts going on — how you asked for this or that and the manifesting process didn’t even work! You never got what you wanted!
Thought #1: I want it now
When we look at what we’ve been taught about manifesting our desires, we should allow ‘the thing’ to happen with an open heart and full of joy? Well, easier said than done. You’ve asked so often for ‘the thing,’ and it never showed up, so now you don’t believe it anymore. And time is ticking — tick tock tick tock! You want it now! Why isn’t this ‘thing’ showing up?
Impatient, aren’t we? Time is a weird thing. As Einstein explained to us, our desire has its own dimension, and it’s pretty malleable. This means that what takes long for you may look super quick for me. It all depends on the observer. A general rule that works for both of us is that the more urgency you feel, the more you get in your own way.
The way to solve this is to sit back and create a clear image of it arriving in your life. What do you see, feel and hear? Which emotions come over you when you wake up on that day? Dare to go beyond the rather vague feeling of ‘happy.’ What is happiness? How does that feel? What do you do differently on that day?
By imagining those feelings in the manifesting process, you’re creating the feelings that go with ‘the thing,’ and you’re halfway there. The only thing is that you don’t want to see it because you are taught that you first need to see it before you allow yourself to believe it.
Thought #2: What I have is no good!
Another way you stop yourself from getting what you want is to label your current situation as wrong. To make it even worse, you tell yourself: ‘This is not what I want! I don’t want it. It’s no good at all!”
But you know, your current situation is always a perfect result of the manifesting process. It’s only that you changed the rules halfway through the journey and now say that you don’t want it anymore. It is okay to decide halfway that you want something else — we all have freedom of choice, but don’t say that it’s the Universe’s fault. Deep down, you decided that this situation was good enough for you and even took aligned action. Want an example? Think about being overweight. You focused on losing weight, and you still ate the cookie. It is asking for something and then doing the opposite.
If you’re ready for your desire, you are allowed to dream bigger. You can do that anytime. Just let go of the old story that you wanted to cookie anyway, and off you go to a better life.
Thought #3: I’ll keep on asking
If you’re not manifesting, then it must mean that the Universe must not have been listening when you asked. So you ask again. This time, your big ask isn’t coming from fun and joy, though. Below the surface, doubt and fear are creeping into your request. What’s going on in that deep dark subconscious of yours?
When you doubt things won’t happen, the Universe can come forward right away: “Oh, you think it won’t happen? Okay!” Sometimes, it is so easy to unmanifest what was almost there. That’s no way to manifest what you want! You know better than that!
Instead, try to find fun ways to raise your vibration to see it happen. Learn to open your heart and feel happy about it. You can use a special daily ritual, create a poster filled with your favorite affirmations, or create a vision board. Heck, there are so many ways of reminding yourself of your desires every day!
It all starts with accepting where you are. This means that you choose to become more neutral with that everlasting opinion of yours. You are where you are, and that’s okay. You can also decide that you’re okay with NOT getting what you want for the more practiced manifesters. But maybe that’s a big ask for you right now.
Thought #4: I can only take action when I feel good
When doubt and fear have taken up space in your mind and body, it can be hard to take consistent action aligned with who you are and what you want. You try to fake it until you make it, but that doesn’t work, so instead, you decide not to do anything at all or do them your half-assed way.
What is needed is to decide how you can feel better again. This may take aligned action but if that’s hard, then do something that instantly makes you feel better, like taking a walk or spending time in the playground with your kids. Choose fun.
When I found out that I was constantly doing things that I hated, I decided to drop everything. How could I feel better doing things I detested?
So, I went on a hunt for fun things. This was before the lockdown, so I went to markets, nature walks and tried out all sorts of crafting. Some were fun, and others turned out to be one project of fun. I learned that many things could create a better feeling: water coloring, diamond painting, or finding new trails to walk. And lo and behold, it lifted my mood!
Thought #5: I’m not good enough to have it!
When you’re not manifesting and think it is because you’re not good enough, you’re in trouble with receiving what you desire. By saying you’re not good enough, you’re telling the Universe not to give you those good feelings. Since your desire only matches with you, you’re setting the Universe up with an impossible delivery task. You’re masking as the wrong one, while you secretly are the right address to deliver your desire.
Instead, it helps to become aware of the many negative beliefs that go through your mind all the time — the lies you’re telling yourself. It is mind staggering to keep track of your thoughts for only a day. Every lie you don’t correct is telling the Universe to forward the desire to a new address.
To correct it, you become aware of the thoughts and allow yourself to have what you’re asking for. Every time you notice those thoughts, you recall and correct them.
When you think that you’re not good enough, it is not true. You are perfect. You are limitless in what you can create as well as what you do not want to create. It’s your choice.
Thought #6: It’s all bad that comes up
By now, you’ve developed quite a ‘good’ mood around your desire. No matter what happens, it’s all bad that is happening. From feeling not good enough, resentment about what you’re experiencing now is building up. It’s no good what you’re getting, and it’s not fair.
Instead, come back to the dream you once had. Go back to the situation you were in and where you were. At some point, you decided that you had a dream, a desire. You saw it and chose it. What happened with that? You could just as easily imagine it again, but for some reason, you’ve lost that fantasy.
Thought #7: I need to be realistic about all this
When your ‘thing’ still doesn’t show up, you start to become frustrated. Like, you’re doing what is needed, and still, nothing shows up. What else is there to do? You tell yourself that it’s time to become ‘realistic’ about how you believed some lie about manifesting (again), and you just wasted a lot of time that you could have spent much better. Maybe, there are even people near you who tell you this.
But let’s get real about getting real. It’s the frustration that you can do without. We all know how hard it is to choose your focus in this manifesting process consciously. When your ‘thing’ has not manifested in this 3D reality, you have two options:
- To drop the ‘thing’ or
- To drop the fight.
What do you really want? Frustration or creation? And if so, what kind of creation do you want? A frustrated one or a desired one? Take time to choose your focus consciously. Your choice to focus on frustration temporarily is what got you here, now choose to choose differently. Which feeling aligns best with your desire? Frustration or gratitude? I’d choose the latter.
Thought #8: I can’t just change my thoughts!
The frustration is growing, and you notice that the negative beliefs and attached feelings are taking over. They’re growing and evolving, and you notice how you’re not feeling well under them — at all. You start to doubt that your desire will ever come to life for real.
In situations like these, sources about manifestation suggest that you get hold of your thoughts and study them, but you notice that it’s not easy at all. You rather ignore them than studying them because it is all so painful.
But it is easier than you think. All you need is to imagine that there’s a small child inside of you. For this, you may need to close your eyes and imagine how it looks. How does it feel? What does it look like? What clothes does it wear? What does it like to do? Dance? Swing? How does it feel about you? Is it basically happy, or has it lost trust in you because you didn’t listen to it for so long? What does it need right now?
Like any child that asks for the protection of a grownup, it needs to hear that everything will work out just fine. It’s all good, always. And then you take it by the hand and sit with it. Hold that small inner child, and you’ll notice that this small part of you needs to hear that you’ll take care of it.
See? You can change your thoughts!
Thought #9: I’ll give The Universe one more chance!
But even how hard you work with your inner child, there will also be this harsh part inside you that wants to know right now, when, where, how. No more bullshitting (excuse the French); when will the Universe come up with your desire? Get on with it! Don’t let me count! One! Two! Thr…
But giving the Universe one more chance of showing up is not the way to create everlasting joy and fun. It’s your fearful, harsh inner critic that’s about to call you a failure. All it tells you is that this shizz is not going to happen, and you’re stupid for believing that you ever could. Like, duh!
Instead, you can choose to open yourself for victory in the manifestation process. To do so, you need to be able to see that the road to your goal consists of many small victories that go before the big one. It’s like winning the Soccer World Championship. To make that goal, you need to receive the ball right, run like hell while keeping the ball at your foot, pass all defenders one by one AND kick the ball in that one corner where the keeper is not blocking the goal.
Dozens of small wins always precede the big WIN. It’s the small wins that create the big ones. Are you willing to see that you’re actually super close to making the goal? Are you willing to see that you play a much more active role in the whole manifesting process than you thought?
Thought #10: I give up!
Okay, so now you’re done with it. You’ve worked so hard and did ‘everything’ you needed to do, and nothing showed up. Now you’re angry and disappointed and decide to give up. You’re worth more than seeing nothing show up all the time. You knew this whole Law of Attraction was a big fat lie.
You now have two options, and they come down to how good you are at truly giving up. It’s like your big brother holding you in a headlock, screaming “Surrender! Surrender!” at you. Most people are not so good at giving up. They keep on fighting. It’s either that way or wallowing in resentment, disappointment, and critiquing themselves.
That’s not giving up. You’re doing a bad job at it. This way, you’re still be presented with situations that mirror you back at what a failure you are. Most people become hard and disappointed when they do it that way.
But if you truly give up, then you’re on the winning hand in this Game of Life. The whole journey of manifesting is all about truly giving up, let go and surrender to what is. Dare to loosen the grip and let it fly off. The manifesting process is all about doing the opposite of what we’ve always done. Not so easy when you’re programmed the other way.
When you finally let the Universe do its job by dropping the fight you’ve been in, all resentment and negative feelings fall away. Finally, you’re doing what you’re here for. If what you desire is in line with your Divine Soul Blueprint, you’ll manifest it pretty quickly. But for this to happen, you really need to be fed up with how you’ve been blocking yourself all your life.
Enabling yourself to receive
How often do you keep yourself from having the desire you truly want — to have a true connection with a higher level of dimension? Allowing yourself to have what you want is about truly loving yourself, and most of the time, we’re not good at it. Not having what you want is a sign that you need to work on loving yourself to allow yourself to live a life of everything you desire. Working on that is the biggest confrontation with who we have turned into.
- What would happen if you’d become happy?
- What would happen if you declared your life to be a success?
- What would happen if you’d pass the test of coming here and deciding not to have to come back to suffering and misalignment?
My goodness, we’re all so afraid of being a radiant being of love and joy that we’ll do whatever we can to prevent it. We came here to experience the opposite of how we’re made at origination. When do we decide that we’re done learning and surrender to the highest feelings there are? Love. Joy. Fun. Goodness. Abundance.
Stop trying so hard to become happy. Be happy. There’s nothing wrong with you. You are good enough. Stop holding yourself back. Surrender to it.
Jolanda Bolt is an intuitive akashic coach for courageous soul travelers. She encourages authenticity in human stuff and can be found at www.jolandabolt.com. Subscribe to her email list to receive this article earlier in your inbox, plus a copy of Jolanda’s book on fulfilling your soul purpose.